Effective communication with parents and carers: for professionals

Key points

• Effective communication is key to positive partnerships with parents and carers.
• Effective communication involves active listening and clear, respectful speaking.
• When professionals and parents share knowledge and experience, it’s good for children’s wellbeing and development.

Effective communication: why it’s important

Effective communication builds understanding and trust. When you and parents or carers understand and trust each other, you’ll all be better able to work together to support children’s wellbeing and development.

This is why effective communication is key to establishing and maintaining positive partnerships with parents and carers.

For professionals working with parents and carers, a positive partnership means sharing knowledge and experience to understand a child’s situation, and it can lead to developing plans together to support the child.

Communicating with respect

Respect is the foundation of effective communication with parents, carers and families. Respect will help you better understand the parents, carers and families that you work with. This includes respect for every family’s:

• religious and cultural background, values, beliefs and languages – for example, culturally and linguistically diverse familiesor Aboriginal and Torres strait Islander families
• parenting arrangements – for example, blended families, co-parenting families, single-parent families and LGBTIQ+ families
• gender diversity – for example, respect for parents’ and children’s gender and preferred pronouns
• choices – for example, where families live, whether their houses are tidy or what their children are wearing
• circumstances – for example, parents with intellectual disability, parents who are teenagers and families experiencing challenges.

In practical terms, respectful communication with parents and families might mean:

• using preferred pronouns with parents and children
• using ordinary, everyday language rather than professional jargon
• working with interpreters if you speak a different language from the family you’re working with
• giving parents information that they can understand – for example, using Easy English resources for parents and carers with low literacy
• making sure that your printed resources show images of diverse families – for example, families with two mums and two dads, or families from diverse cultural backgrounds.

If you’re unsure how cultural, linguistic, social and economic diversity might affect your communication with families, you can ask others or do some research online or in books.

Listening to parents and carers

Listening is one of the keys to effective communication.

When you listen well, you get more information about children and their families. You also get the full benefit of parents’ and carers’ in-depth knowledge of their children. And you show parents and carers that you value their experience, ideas and opinions and take their concerns seriously.

Here are some ideas for listening well:

• Let parents know you’re listening and interested by nodding or saying ‘Uh huh’ occasionally.
• Let parents finish what they’re saying before you speak. Then summarise what parents have said, and check that you’ve understood correctly.
• Check on the feeling as well as the content of what parents have said. For example, ‘It sounds like you felt upset when the other parent told Taj to stop shouting. Is that right?’
• Use open-ended questions to get more information if you need it. Open-ended questions give people a chance to expand on what they’re saying rather than just saying yes or no. For example, ‘What sort of things did Taj do when he was being naughty?’
• Try to understand parents’ perspectives, even if you disagree with what they’re saying. Put yourself in their shoes. For example, ‘It sounds like you felt judged as a parent’.

Speaking with parents and carers

In every interaction with parents and carers, one of your goals is to strengthen your partnership with them. You’re more likely to achieve this goal if you consistently speak to parents in a clear and considerate way.

Here are some ideas for this kind of speaking:

• Find and share the positives about a child’s learning, behaviour and experiences. For example, ‘EJ did a great job of sitting still for two minutes in class today. It’s a big step forward for her’.
• Be open and honest. Give parents accurate information on what you observe. For example, ‘After a couple of minutes, EJ started pushing the child next to her’.
• Think before you speak, especially when you’re talking with parents about difficult or sensitive issues.
• Ask for parents’ input. For example, ‘How can we help EJ learn to take part in group activities without distracting other children?’
• Let parents make informed decisions. You can suggest ideas, but it’s up to parents to decide what to do next. For example, ‘We could try a behaviour chart. Or EJ could start with short group activities and build up to longer ones. What do you think?’
• If you’re not sure about what to say next or how to say it, you don’t have to respond straight away. For example, ‘I’d like to think about that more. Can I get back to you tomorrow?’

Raising concerns with parents and carers

As a professional, there might be times when you need to raise concerns with parents and carers about a child’s behaviour, wellbeing or development.

A problem-solving approach will help you and parents work together to address concerns. This approach involves:

• identifying the problem
• brainstorming as many solutions as possible
• jointly evaluating the pros and cons
• deciding on a solution to try
• putting the solution into action
• reviewing the solution after a period of time.

One of the keys to this approach is talking about concerns when they come up. Problems usually don’t go away by themselves. And if you let problems build up, they might be more and more difficult to address.

Here are some tips for putting this approach into action:

• Prepare for conversations about difficult issues. This is because parents can feel upset and stressed by these conversations. If you think ahead about what you need to say and about the most sensitive and respectful way to say it, it can help your discussion go well.
• Try to schedule a time when parents are most available. For example, if you’re a child care educator or a teacher, this might be at pick-up and drop-off times. Or it might be best to call parents during the day.
• Discuss concerning behaviour without judgment. Try to focus on facts and whether the behaviour is appropriate. For example, ‘Ben drew on the wall and said that another child did it. This behaviour isn’t OK’.
• Explain what might contribute to the behaviour. This can help you and parents work out how to change the behaviour. For example, ‘Starting school can be challenging. Children often feel worried about getting into trouble’.
• Check what parents think about the issue. Remember that perceptions of what’s appropriate can differ between cultures or contexts. For example, ‘How does your family handle it when children don’t tell the truth?’
• Offer realistic strategies suited to each family. For example, if a child needs to make new friends but they get stressed in public, parents might start by inviting other children for playdates at home.

Dealing with concerns raised by parents and carers

When parents and carers raise concerns with you, the basics of listening and speaking still apply. And respect and sensitivity are still key to effective communication.

Also, if you focus on the issue that parents are raising and remember that your shared goal is supporting their child, it can help you avoid defensiveness or justifications.

Sometimes the best way to help is simply listening to parents. Parents might just need to feel that their concerns have been heard. You don’t always need to look for a solution straight away.